So A Cyclist Outed Me As Gay

I know you're all looking forward to your monthly dose of satiric journalism surrounding life in London, and don't worry that will come, (I locked my keys and my phone inside the flat today. What a story!) But right now something that happened on my way home is playing on my mind, and I honestly can't get my head around it.

Let's start at the bus stop. I, after closing the pub and having a now customary drink and general life chat with the manager, was waiting for the night bus (late) when a couple of young girls walked up and sat down next to me, shivering violently. They dispaired at the display stating that the next bus would be almost half an hour's wait, so I assured them that the display lies, and pointed out that the bus was parked in the terminal across the road. They explained that they had gotten on the bus not knowing where to get off and had ridden it to the end of the line, and were now essentially retracing their journey in the hope of eventually getting home.

Long story short, they needed to get off at my stop and walk in a slightly different direction. After a nice bus-chat and after they thanked me for my kindness and help (I was branded the nicest person in London, I pointed out that this was due to my not being from London) I pointed them in the right direction and headed off on my own path. No sooner had I taken two steps then a cyclist who had been approaching us from behind yelled out,

"What kind of man lets two girls walk home by themselves at this time of night?" A fair point, I suppose, but he immediately followed with, "He must be gay."

Now I stayed silent here, as any immediate response my brain may have formulated would probably have been either juvenile or offensive. Or both. But after the fee seconds of no, you're gay ran through my head, the next thought I had was, was that an insult? To me? Seems more insulting to the gay community. Did this cyclist just attempt to argue that gay men are less chivalrous than their straight counterparts? How does that work? If I preferred cock, would I feel less obliged to be a gentleman? Certainly in my experience homosexuals are far more likely to walk a woman home. After all, what's less creepy: random stranger you met on a bus walks you to your front door and now knows were you live, or man who has no interest in your genitalia walks you home?

Which leads to an even more disturbing thought, was the cyclist trying to pin me as some sort of sexual deviant? Obviously if a man walks a girl home he must be straight, and also must be interested in engaging in sexual congress with one or both of his unsuspecting female companions. As such, being the raging homosexual that he has judged me to be, I would have no reason to walk the young ladies home.

Surely I am not in the wrong here? I got the girls onto the correct bus, got them off at the stop closest to their house, and by my estimations they will have had to walk for a maximum of 9 minutes through the notably assault-prone area of Honor Oak Park. Honestly they would have been more at risk walking through Balamory..